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婧 丁

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3/20/2009

转载石康的一段文字

无意中读了石康的一段文字,受益匪浅,拿出来分享给大家:
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我终始认为,从个人角度看,人生中最重要的,是使自己成为一个什么样的人,我们建立的一切人际关系应为此而服务,而不是反过来,我们生而为人,只是被动地成为一个不合格的父母与社会成员,从而艰辛地一混到底——我坚持认为,人不该因为孤独寂寞成家立业,那是软弱与任性。我更认为,两个软弱任性的人混到一起,是加倍地软弱与任性,那只会相互挤压,而不是创造出一个更舒展的空间,这还不如一个人混好。

当我们谈到人群与责任时,我们始终需要记取,我们最可能成为什么样的人,与我们的父辈是什么样的人关系最大——而我们的孩子最可能成为什么样的人,与我们关系最大。当我们没有学会对自己尽责时,我们怎好意思享受别人对我们的责任?

当我们成为一个对别人有用的人,我们会很自然地融入人际关系之中。相反,我们融入人际关系,只是为了从中索取,那会我使我们尝尽人际关系中的辛酸——只因别人并不是真的需要我们。

我很看不惯一种诉苦的腔调儿,在那种腔调儿里,一个人似乎根本没有机会做成自己,只能成为人际关系的奴隶,一个人的一生,似乎是被要求着走完从生到死的全过程的,一点办法也没有。

其实我们谁都知道,我们只是亦步亦趋地落入了自私懒惰的陷阱,我们对自己毫无要求,最终,我们拉上几个与我们差不多的同伴,一同无助、艰难而委屈地生活,我们总是弱者,总是大多数,并且,我们此刻只好别无选择地认为大多数是对的,我们的痛苦,全因有人欺负、欺骗、欺压我们,我们根本没有看到别人对自己的帮助,我的理解力无法理解那种巨大的帮助,我们永远回避的,是自己并未真的对自己尽责尽力——我们的目标,从来就不是成为一个对别人有用的人,在最多方面对别人有用的人,而只是一个试图通过人际关系得到好处的人,我们以为顺着别人说话,给别人一些笑脸就可使我们蒙混过关,但事实总是无情地击碎我们的想法,我们无能力助人,别人怎会认真看等我们?我们不比别人更努力,怎么获得助人的能力?

在我们的文化氛围里,我们中的大多数,甚至没有什么真正拿得出手的私人兴趣,自我满足都做不到或做不好,只是一个人捱着抓着腻着拉着另一个,无论高兴或不高兴,似乎只得如此,这种悲惨景象已不是八卦,而是真正的无聊——到何时人们才能体验到,一个人,全神贯注地去学习去了解去发现某事,那会使人的自我感觉非常良好,一个人忘我地工作,会使人生充实有力。

我见到太多人,一生中一件事也做不好,这些人一生中并未真正去热爱什么,也未忘我地为什么而努力工作,这令我们毫无个性与斗志,我们为何会如此?这让我翻回头去看我们的文化,因这文化为我们的人生提供氛围,而这氛围令我充满怀疑,因它不能塑造令人幸福的积极个性。

11/10/2008

travel in spain

for the sake of my dear mum, i upload the pictures i took in Spain, because everytime i am too lazy to update my photo after travelling......Bacelona is such a wonderful place that your could see different artists giving performance in the street! I saw Flamengo show in Madrid, and the environment there in Spain is like China so much!few people care whether they wear luxury brand clothes or not, a lot of cheap shops and people can always find places to eat!  now back in Milan, still feel the sweety like home, maybe i always complain milan is a shity city, but everytime i expect to leave, then always expect to come back! because i have life, study and dear friends here^__^
9/6/2008

change or not, we will see

this afternoon, someone talked with me about some reality, and i think i really need to think about that, maybe the few words really give me some effects and i need to reconsider my direction of future....but don't worry, the change might not seem so miserable and it needs time to verify,
by the way, i have moved to the school's new dorm which is big and facinating, and i will decorate it to my own style and welcome to my place, my dear friends!
and my parents will also come to visit me next year! 
6/26/2008

想家了

看着朋友同学一个个回国,才明白自己还是最想回国的,平时不觉得,在考试期间,特别是连吊扇都没有的租金高得离谱的小破屋里,热得我发晕,全身黏呼呼的,这里一点家的感觉都没有,没有可以随意滚来滚去的双人大床,没有足够的冷气,没有被我妈瞎折腾的那几根草和花(我妈好像从没养活过什么花,除了太阳花,俗称死不了花,还经常跑去买花),没有自己的小书房,没有自己的私人小空间,老妈每次都要跑过来跟我挤一张床,我抗死不从,因为一旦和她睡觉,就要惊叹于她入睡的神速与旱天雷般的酣声,所以要赶在她入睡前入睡,这有着蜀道难,难于上青天的难度呀,难怪我老爸每次看到我妈要和我睡,就一顿窃喜,真是难为他了平时。想念我有什么事情(有时是我故意的,其实啥事没有)他们关切的目光,想念老爸的能烧好几顿的面条汤(老爸的废物利用理论应该直接载入世界吉尼斯)。。。。。。。
刚刚还是伤感,写写就笑得不行了,还是先睡去了~ 希望能尽快回家!
 
Spain  
Photo 1 of 17

Nobody in the world is perfect, but I am f**king close!

老哥的签名让我觉得太妙了!

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Francesco Wuwrote:
Hey DD, did u back to Milano? I miss Milano so much..........
Feb. 18

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